08.14.15 Morning Brief

Created In: Toronto, ON

Three News Stories That Kind of Matter

Report: 56% of Americans Haven’t Taken a Vacation in Last 12 Months

John Kerry: I Write Emails Assuming that China and Russia Are Very Likely Reading Them

U.S. Citizens Warned not to Attend Auckland Anti-Trans Pacific Partnership Rally

From the Pensieve: Changing the Conversation

“I grew up in a region where Interpersonal Racism was a very real thing. A region where people flew Confederate flags on their trucks and stood under the basket during pregame basketball warmups and called your teammates the N word and referred to the Hispanic population as “beaners” and “spics” and “wetbacks” both to their faces and behind their backs with regularity.”

And A Longer One for the Weekend

Finland, Home of the $130,000 Speeding Ticket

tl;dr We’re inclined to believe that our way is the best way.  Which may be true, and may not.  Regardless, there are other ways that people do it.

Fridays With Pooh

“Oh hello, am I glad to see you.  It’s more friendly with two.”
-Pooh Bear

Darn Near Football Season GIF of the Day

Get your weekend things in now friends, cuz you’re about to lose those badboys for months..

And One That Doesn’t, But Like, Isn’t Trudging Through a Sewer and Not Finding Anything Punishment Enough?

New York men arrested for sewer treasure hunt.

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Christian Edwards

Has a bit of an idea what he’s doing. He did in fact quit his day job.

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08.06.15 Morning Brief,christian,edwards

Feel Better – Page 3 (Notes)

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Re: Cecil The Lion

Editor’s Note: I’ve seen a number of Facebook statuses regarding the death of Cecil the Lion.  This is the only one that has taken this tact.  As it was posted as a “just for friends” status, I can’t link to it directly, and in order to maintain the sanctity of the links I’ve moved it here as opposed to screenshotting.

H/T Joe Losavio:

Seeing a lion die is sad, but, sorry internet, Robert Mugabe is far too busy systematically raping, torturing, and forcefully disappearing his own people to care about your tone-deaf, situationally ignorant online petitions to stop the killing of cats in a country that has the lowest human life expectancy in the world.

Imagine if in the US the economy was so mismanaged and government policy so punitive that 150 million Americans required outside food aid, that life expectancy fell 26 years in less than two decades, that after the election of George W Bush or Barack Obama supporters of the winners slaughtered supports of the losers in the streets with impunity, but in every other country the trending story was about a bald eagle being shot in Wyoming.

How desperate would that make you feel? To be forgotten about by the world in favor of an eagle?

This is the exact situation in Zimbabwe right now, and if you care more about the actual situation in Zimbabwe than what is trending on the upper right corner of your facebook newsfeed look here:


Or if you want to actually do something other than post a dramatic facebook status click here:


Or here:


Or, if you are still more concerned about the lions, click here:


Or don’t do any of these things, which is totally fine because you can’t save everyone or be aware of every single ongoing tragedy in the world. But for the love of God don’t post, tweet, or insta some soliloquy over what is demonstrably among the least of Zimbabwe’s problems right now and then pat yourself on the back as if you are in any way socially conscious.

Christian’s Sunday Digest

 Six News Stories That Matter.

Three That Don’t

Three Longer Ones. The Reading Sort. (Alternating With the Listening Sort)

Friends Doing Dope Ish

GIFs and Baby Animals

  • 1130_Resize_the alchemist
  • PizzaDoe

  • Beer Night

Some Other Fun Things:

Christian Values: Guest Pod Prep

Howdy all!

Firstly, thank you kindly in advance for your time.  To make sure the recording process goes smoothly, if you wouldn’t mind running through the following it’d be much appreciated.


High Level:

Unfortunately I don’t have a studio, so the way this happens is that we have a conversation via Skype, Google Hangout or phone, record our audio separately on our own computer/phone, then export the audio to MP3s.

From there you’ll send me the audio, and I’ll bring it together and edit it.


Recording Tips:

1. You’ll need headphones in order to hear me but not record my voice on your end.
2. The lower the volume on your headphones the better.  Often times we get feedback from iPod headphones that send out background noise.
3. If you can record in a quiet, relatively small room, that’s ideal.  It’ll keep background noise out and avoid echoes.  If not, no worries at all, this is very far from professional.

Recording Software: 


You have Garageband, and that’ll work great for our purposes.  Open that badboy up, and just start a new project. No need to do the podcast option, but if that makes you feel like a baller, go for it.

After recording, you can export to MP3 by going to the taskbar and choosing Share -> Export to Disk and choosing MP3 as your file type.  Boom.


Bit more complex.

Step 1: Click on this link and download Audacity, a free recording program perfect for our purposes.
Step 2: Click on this link and download the LAME encoder, which allows you to export MP3s from Audacity.

From there, you’ll open Audacity, we’ll record, and then you’ll go to the taskbar and choose File -> Export  and choose type MP3 File.

That should be it, but if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to let me know.  If I haven’t already, I should be following up with an agenda shortly, and I very much look forward to talking with you about some awesome stuff!



What I Learned While Travelling (Practical)

Hi.  Hello.  Remember the part where Tyrion shot Tywin with a crossbow while he was talking to a man about a horse?

“Lord Tywin Lannister did not, in the end, shit gold.”
A Storm of Swords – Chapter 77 – Tyrion

I, like the rest of y’all, will have to wait until next Sunday to learn just how useless the undocumented hours of my life dedicated to GRRM’s prose are, but what I won’t have to wait for are the following items learnt during a brief jaunt to Guatemala.

Full Disclosure: I was only gone for three weeks and have no level of expertise on what is about to follow.  There are people that have travelled for way longer than I have with much more insightful things to say.  I\

There’s a difference between vacationing and travelling.

The short version of the difference is that if you have money / a job / took less than two weeks off from work in order to be where you are, you’re probably vacationing.

If you’re thinking “this seems to be going alright, but I can think of a thousand ways it could go terribly wrong and my mom would flip her shit if she knew where I was right now”, you’re probably travelling.

Either way, both are dope and we should for sure do more of them.  Also, we should start saying we’re “On Holiday” like British people, because it’s so much more fun to think that you’re celebrating an imaginary holiday in celebration of not being at work.

Take an extra toothbrush and make sure the deodorant reservoir is at 100% capacity.

Just about everything else you may need need (Band Aids, conditioner, sunscreen, toothpaste, soap, lighter, papers, a demo of that delicious looking street food you didn’t know how to order), you can bum off of someone when you run out.  People are super giving, and none of those things is a big ask;

however, ain’t no one trying  to Mother Teresa their toothbrush and them pits sure AF ain’t touching anyone else’s D.O. with that B.O.

Whenever possible, don’t set an alarm.

Setting an alarm makes you look at a clock, even to turn it off, and as soon as that happens you’re transferring ownership of the answer to one of life’s most important questions:

“Have I had enough sleep?”

For the vast majority of our species’ existence, (including the part where we harnessed fire and secured third place in the game of life behind corn and ants) that’s been a question for the unencumbered body:

“Oy, I’m awake. How we doing? Are we okay with this or do we think we need a nip more shuteye? We’re cool either way, let’s just be honest with ourselves.”

Ever since the whole alarm came to be though, we’ve been adding context, and transferring ownership goes to the mind, and then that thing gets going:

“Alright, went to bed at time X, it’s now time Y.  I’m feeling some kind of (exhausted//awake) for right now and my body’s telling me to (go back to sleep/get up), but this (insert sleep based internet thing) I saw yesterday said that need 6-8 hours so this is ideal. Let’s ignore these physical signs and get to it.”

We know shit nothing about sleeping.  We know that (most) everyone does it, and (most) everyone needs to do it. That’s mostly it.

When you have a chance to go by your natural tendencies, take advantage.  And bring earplugs.

People are almost always not going to steal your shit.

Relevant story:  Five hours into a (supposed) seven hour bus ride across the country to a remote location, driver pulls over at a restaurant on the side of the road and tells us he needs to go get the brakes checked.  He’ll be back in 40.

Takes off with all of our luggage still strapped onto his roof.

A selection of statistics from the ensuing experience:

Total time stranded in restaurant in middle of foreign country with none of our shit:  2hrs 30 min
# of conversations: 6
# of conversations that included some version of “This is sketchy.  I really don’t like that he took off with our stuff, where the heck is this guy?”:  6
% of people that were super happy dude got the brakes on our 88 Nissan Van checked when we realized the final three hours of the trip were to take place on a downhill, largely unpaved road that generally made the drive to/from Yosemite look like Autotopia: 100
Amount of shit stolen: 0

The horror stories stick with you.  We remember things like:

“When (insert person) was in (insert place), they were pick pocketed.”

We don’t think about the other 99% of people we know that have been to foreign countries but just aren’t the habit of sharing, “And we weren’t robbed either!” during their trip recap.

Everyone everywhere hates robbers.  They’re like the people who cut the line and then try and play dumb like they didn’t realize there was a line even though literally everyone else figured out there was a line and the only way to be that ready with that excuse was to think of it ahead of time.  Yeah, we know.

Partake in the local fare

Other people have wrote more eloquently about this, but I don’t know which ones off the top of my head and I’m going to pretend to not know how to use Google.

I once had a friend who took PB+J to a foreign country because the food there was “terrible”.  And to that I say: Too bad, go somewhere with better food.

Pretending the whole “there’s no way you could ever eat most of this shit in the U.S. because like, health laws, man,” thing doesn’t exist, the whole being a literal guest in these folks’ home (country) does.

Unless you are there for work or war, you are counting almost entirely on these folks’ good will to allow you to experience where and/or how they live their lives.  And when you’re a guest in someone’s home, what do you do at dinner time?

You say thank you and eat your fill.

Do you eat before, and maybe after, and maybe only take just enough of everything to not be rude? Sure.  I left the country with a proper burger in my belly and snagged a dank meal as soon as I was back.

But as a guest in someone’s home? I ate the damn food.

You don’t have to be fluent, but knowing how to get through some basic situations will make life easier in the same way turn signals do.  Not everyone can handle them, but those that do ease the situation for every one else.  Also, just as important as the questions, you kind of have to understand the answers too.

How to ask if you can have an item or the one next to it.
All hotel/hostel/taxi things.
“Where is x?’.
And, maybe most importantly, how to politely say “No thank you” in a way that’ll stop people from trying to sell you things.

Multi-functional clothes are the shit.  

And all the way the shit.  Not just a little bit of the shit a.k.a. Serial which was really just a way to get you thinking that something went down in a really fucked up way before getting you thinking that maybe it went down exactly like it was supposed to.

#teamjay.  I digress.

For 25+ years of my life, I was anti controvertible pants (those are the ones with zip off legs).  I thought they were unstylish and cumbersome and a lot of other adjectives that people ascribe to things they hate without actually trying:

Then I used them, and I learned this fun fact:

Controvertible pants are the the cat’s meow. And controvertible pants that have swim trunk liner in them are occupy two of the six pairs of pants in my ideal closet (khakis, black dress pants, one cord, one jeans.  It’s like the /r/furgal Spice Girls of pants)

Top 5 non-sexual things that most people knock before trying that after trying they would definitely be about:

Sushi.  Controvertible pants.  Massages.  Pedicures.  Socialism.

Talk to people. People are the best.

I’ve spent too many hours of my life thinking the opposite. People are amazing.  Absolutely unique creatures with thoughts and actions and personalities and unique smells to their farts and laughter and opinions formulated during the 15 minutes everyday you have in the shower that no one else experiences.

If you’re thinking people are the fucking worst, it’s not the people.  It’s something else that has more to do with your situation.

Find other people, in a different place, and remind yourself that you/we’re the best.

“You can spend months planning, or you can grab a Lonely Planet, pick your fist stop, and more than likely run into someone that’s come from where you’d like ot be headed and can give you advice on where to stay and what to do.”

Shouts out random British girl that had been travelling for eight months.

Coming Tomorrow:  What I Learned While Travelling What I Learned While Travelling (Philosophical)

Sports Brief: Week of 1.31.15


Australian Open Finals

Williams v. Sharapova, Saturday, 3:00am et, ESPN- #1 v. #2, let’s do it.

Murray v. Djokovic, Sunday, 3:00am et, ESPN- it’s the new Federer-Nadal as these two meet for the 5th time in a Grand Slam Final.

Cavs @ T-Wolves, Saturday, 8:00pm et, ESPN

K-Love makes his triumphant return to Minnesota as Cleveland is doing everything to find some sort of rhythm and consistency.

Silva-Diaz, Saturday, 10:00 pm et

The Superbowl is far from the only event around as this MMA match is sure to feature some top flight action.


Bet 1- Coin Toss: Heads (-101) v. Tails

Heads has come up 5 of the last 6 times, but Tails is 10-7 over the last 17.  I’m taking the hot hand and chances of evening up the statistics.

Bet 2- Will there be a roughing the passer penalty? Yes (+150)

Pete’s teams are consistently the most penalized team in football.  Meanwhile, RW scrambles behind the line enough that a brutal blow is likely.

Bet 3- First half under 24 (-115)

Since 2000, Superbowls lined 47 or higher have gone under 6 out of 8 times. I’m extrapolating this to a first half line.  Why not?

Bet 4- Marshawn Lynch to score a TD and Seahawks win (+137)

Maybe this parlay isn’t worth it (Seahawks already -105), but it’s fun to root for, I think the Seahawks pull this out, and if they do, you know Lynch will score.

Last week: Blazers (+1); Result: W; 2015 Record: 2-1.


The argument phase of the criminal trial of Aaron Hernandez got under way this week.  Here’s a synopsis.  This feels strikingly similar to another landmark, NFL player trial of a few years ago…


The story of Josh Gordon, as told by Josh Gordon, and calling out his critics.


The Superbowl coin toss is actually not a 50/50 proposition.  The side facing up when the coin is flipped has won 51% of the time.


Why does every scandal have to be “_____gate”?  I get that deflate-gate has a cool rhyme, but come on.  Watergate was the actual name of the hotel, not some clever moniker.  It’s just getting annoying.


“When I was in college, I was going to class and some student came up to me and said, ‘I’m paying your tuition.’ I said, ‘You don’t pay my damn tuition. My mom paid that when she worked two jobs and I woke up every morning at 6 a.m. and worked hard.’”

Michael Bennett, Seahawks D-End.


This ball was served at 196 kmph.  That’s roughly 122 mph for you non Europeans.

A Brief Hiatus

“Six months back I hit a sort of impasse with where my life was headed, so I bought a plane ticket to Guatemala and told myself that it would either be a vacation from a new job or a break to figure out what I want out of this whole life thing.”

Well hey there,

Hope this message finds you well.  As much as the above sounds like a prologue to some sort of Eat, Pray, Love sequel, it’s mostly just what’s going on with the next little bit in my life.

More or less headed out to re-calibrate my understanding of the relationship between comfort and happiness, as it hit me that the difference between a groove and a rut isn’t all too much other than the way you look at it, and I kind of felt that I had too many days where I wasn’t quite sure which one I was in.

As much as the idea of Briefing, blogging, etc. appeals to me while gone, reading and writing and breathing and thinking appeal to me a bit more right now.  Fully planning on getting the Morning Brief going upon my return, but for the time being there will be a bit of an absence in your inbox (if this makes you all “thank goodness, I’ve been waiting for this”, please feel free to unsubscribe).

As always I’d like to thank you for your continued readership and support, and hope you find other ways to learn and think about the world through this ridiculously collaborative space called the internet until the Morning Brief makes its (probably not that) triumphant return.

It’s been a pleasure to be a part of y’alls morning for the last little while, and I very much look forward to doing so again.

Wishing nothing but peace, love, and good tidings to you and yours.


  • Christian Edwards

    Has a pretty darn good idea what he’s doing. (It just took two and a half years)

    He did in fact quit his day job.

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Sports Brief: Week of 12.20.14


Lions @ Bears, Sunday, 1:00pm et, Fox

The Jimmy Clausen era begins anew as the Bears benched their multi-million dollar QB on the eve of their rivalry game.  It’s must see TV.

Penguins @ Lightning, Tuesday, 7:30pm et, TVA

The top two teams in the east face-off before hockey’s Christmas break.

Cavs @ Heat, Thursday,

LeBron’s return to Miami.  On Christmas day.  As the Cavs are streaking.  Doesn’t get much better.


Utah (-4) vs. Colorado State

Although much better at home, Utah has a staunch defense and has beaten a number of strong teams; CSU is coming off of both a team loss and the loss of their head coach.

Last week: Vikings-Lions over 42.5; Result: 14-16, W; All-time: 21-20-1.


UFC fighters set to sue UFC

Alleging a monopoly, this suit is very similar to many other recent ones, particularly against the NCAA.


Tom Brady is so intense, his teammates fear his celebratory high fives and headbuts.


Marcus Mariota

The Duck QB capped a magical week of award on top of award by garnering the 3rd highest voting percentage effort in route to winning the Heisman.


Nevada QB Cody Fajardo is one of only two players ever with more than 9,000 passing yards and more than 3,000 rushing yards.  The other?  His immediate predecessor- Colin Kaepernick.


The reports are Michigan offered Harbaugh a 6-year, $49 million contract. That’s $8.17 million per year. For a public employee. To coach football. Absolutely nuts…


“As far as after football, who knows. My life will revolve around football to some point, but I’d rather have the experience of playing and, who knows, die 10, 15 years earlier than not be able to play in the NFL and live a long life.”

Chris Conte, Chicago Bears safety.


Sports Brief: Week of 12.13.14


North Carolina @ Kentucky, Saturday, 12:00pm et, CBS

Gotta give it up to Kentucky, they’re playing a very tough schedule and they just keep winning. UNC is great from behind the arc, and they’ll need every bucket in an undoubtedly rowdy Rupp Arena.

Heisman Trophy Presentation, Saturday, 8:00pm et, ESPN

Mariota has this thing so locked up, sportsbooks are even posting a line. But it’s still worth the watch for the pomp, the circumstance, and the history.

Jets @ Titans, Sunday, 4:05pm et, CBS

Possibly the most worthless game of the season will likely knock the winner out of contention for the #1 overall draft pick.  Who can tank better?


Vikings @ Lions, over 42.5

The Vikings have been fairly strong offensively of late, and Stafford-Tate-Johnson are always a threat to go big.  This seems too easy…

Last week: Ducks (-14); Result: Oregon 51-13, W; All-time: 21-19-1.


Judge excludes victim’s test messages in Hernandez trial

There are dozens of ways to exclude evidence, many of which were argued (successfully) here. It won’t be enough to save Hernandez.


The annual college bowl gift-a-thon.  So much for “no extra benefits.”


Robbie Keane

The MLS MVP scored the Cup winner in the 111th minute to give the Galazy their 6th championship and send Landon Donovan out on top, MJ style.


Leveon Bell has 98 fantasy points over his last 3 games. Since 2008, only 3 players have more fantasy points over a 3-consecutive-game stretch: Tom Brady, 106 points in 2008; Cam Newton,101 points in 2012; Doug Martin 100 points in 2012.


No matter how many teams make the college football playoff, there will always be complaints. So stop with the what ifs: “what if Ohio State didn’t score 59 points” or “what Baylor played a decent non-conference team.” What happened happened, and should be considered as such, not for what else could have.


“I hope the Lakers lose every game because if you’re going to lose, lose. I’m serious, If you’re going to lose, you have to lose, because you can’t be in the middle of the pack. You either have to be great or you have to be bad to get a good pick.”

Magic Johnson.


Yale beat UConn last week for the first time since 1986 in dramatic fashion.

Sports Brief: Week of 11.27.14



Battle 4 Atlantis, Thurs-Sat, ESPN 2

Gotta love college b-ball early season tourneys, and this one takes the cake. It tipped off Wednesday with a stacked field and great action.

Auburn @ Alabama, Saturday, 7:45pm et, ESPN

After last year’s miracle “Kick 6,” Alabama comes in motivated and with everything on the line.  But anything can happen in rivalry games…

Pats @ Packers, Sunday, 4:25pm et, CBS

In a spectacular weekend of NFL football, this one takes the cake as the two hottest teams in football square off in a potential Superbowl preview.


Stanford @ UCLA (-5)

I hate the bRuins for obvious reasons, but they’re playing like a top 10 team right now and have everything to lose. Stanford look abmissmal and can’t score against an average D-line, more or less one that crushed USC’s o-line last week.

Last week: Pitt (+3) @ UNC; Result: Loss; All-time: 20-18-1.


UNC players vandalize Duke locker room following win.

Yet another gaffe by UNC, who can’t seem to do anything right athletically. The school offered to pay, but I hope charges are pressed against those responsible.


Texans All-Pro JJ Watt had pizza delivered to Houston Fire and Police Stations as a per-Thanksgiving-thank-you for their service.


Samaje Perine

One week after All-American (future Heisman winner?) Melvin Gordon broke a record that stood for 15 years, the little-known freshman from OU broke Gordon’s record with 427 yards on the ground.


If you could create a starting 5 of NBA players based on their college, who’s in your top 5? For example, USC would have Gibson, Swaggy P, DeRozan, Mayo, and Vucevic. Kentucky obviously has 2 teams there. UCLA has one.  Who else?


“I’m excited because once upon a time, people compared me and RGII and debated who should go first and I’ve destroyed him.  There’s just shrapnel of him everywhere and this is really my victory lap for that conversation.”

Bill Simmons, impersonating Andrew Luck, who faces the Washington’s Sunday.


Just can’t get enough of this…




  • Denny for The Brief


Metaphorical Movie Review: Interstellar

On November 5th, 2014, four people used the tickets procured by a fifth to witness an advanced 70mm IMAX screening of Christopher Nolan’s much anticipated film Interstellar.  The fifth (Editor’s Note: That’s me! Yes, I buy tickets to movies that I don’t end up attending.) asked how it went, and, perhaps appropriately for the film, the following conversation ensued.

How was it?

Well, we definitely saw it

And none of us fell asleep or had to get up to use the restroom.

Watching Interstellar is like eating a piece of cheesecake.  Everybody loves ordering cheesecake and taking those first few bites, but for most people there is diminishing marginal utility as you progress through eating the cheesecake.  You have got to be a real cheesecake lover to enjoy that last bite as much as you did the first one without a bit of self-loathing and wondering “How the fuck did we get here, again?”

It’s like ordering a legit looking Oreo cheesecake, but then waiter says they’re all out and you’re stuck with a regular cheesecake. And then when you finally make peace with the fact that it’s just a better than average, but basically normal cheesecake, there’s a lame mango filling inside.

And then the waiter comes back, but instead of clearing your plate, he stabs you in the forehead with a knife, and shouts “TIME TRAVEL PARADOX!” in your ear as you slowly expire.

As opposed to a stabbing, I felt like the waiter hits you over the head with the pepper shaker and knocks you out for a few minutes.  Less a specific pain, more of a dull ringing in your head that you can’t shake.

This perfectly encapsulates my feelings/appearance during (redacted). 100% need to see this in IMAX to get maximum enjoyment.

In Summary:

  • None of these folks have any idea exactly what they saw really means.  
  • See it in IMAX.  
  • Oreo cheesecake should be the only cheesecake.  
  • Mango filling sucks.

Interstellar opens today, November 7 2014, at a theater near you.

Eat, Drink, Walk, Read: Portland



The fish sauce wings from Pok Pok.  This probably seems like a pretty mainstream cop out considering they just opened a location at the freaking airport, but, to be honest, if these wings are mainstream you don’t want to be counterculture.

On the cheap: A falafel wrap (or Thai food, or Indian food, or fancy PB+Js) from one of the dozens of permanent food carts located around the city.  The Indian spot on 9th and Alder hooks it up with two entrees and bramanti rice for $6.00 after 6:00pm.


A honey ginger lime brew from Cascade Brewery, (but only after doing tastes of a bunch of other ones). It tastes like a set of sheets fresh out the dryer after a hot shower on a cold day feels, and the brewery is the only place you can get it in the entire world.

Another one: Stumptown (Downtown) Nitro Cold Brew.  No clue what’s actually going on here, but it’s tasty and you’ll be awake.


Up to the International Test Rose Garden at sunset and then down through the Alphabet District.  Boutiques, bars, and bombass desserts abound.  If you’re in a romantic mood, split something at Papa Haydn’s.  If not, you’re going to want that Salt and Straw.

If it’s raining: Ground Kontrol. Which is technically an arcade, and also a bar.  This is a walk down memory lane. Turtles in Time, the impossible Simpsons game, that crazy X Men where six people play at once.  They got em all.


One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Ken Kesey.

Read it at: Powell’s Books.  The largest independent new and used bookstore in the world.

The News. – High School Student Had Multiple Threesomes With Teachers.

The following is the same as this news story but with identifying information removed.

KENNER, La. (WGNO) – 32-year-old Dufresne and 24-year-old Respess, two Destrehan High English teachers, are now facing felony charges out of Jefferson Parish.

Kenner Police Chief Michael Glaser now saying the two met with a Destrehan High student after a football game on September 12th and then drove to Respess’ Kenner apartment where the three had sex simultaneously that lasted until the the early morning hours of the 13th.

“You have an educator, I guess, the responsibility is the safety and education of the children and when it goes outside those lines I believe the community should be outraged,” says Chief Glaser.

The student, who authorities say is a Junior at Destrehan High, is now 17, but was 16 when the alleged relationships began. Former students telling us the three had been hot and heavy for some time, meeting for sex multiple times and documenting some of their encounters on video.

“This Respess was an English teacher of the victim last school year, so she did have some type of contact and knew [the student]. Dufresne is [the student’s] current teacher,” explains Glaser.

For Dufresne this is [the] second trip to jail in one week. Dufresne is facing charges out of St. Charles Parish where authorities believe the relationship continued.

According to Dufresne’s Facebook profile, Dufresne is an LSU and Destrehan High alum, graduating from DHS in 2000. Dufrense was currently starting [his or her] tenth year as a teacher and the profile reveals is married with three young children, and is the [child] of St. Charles Parish Judge Emile St. Pierre.

Respess’ profile shows they were starting their second year at DHS and are also an LSU and Destrehan High alum, graduating high school in 2008.

Chief Glaser saying it’s unfortunate, but not surprising.

“Nothing surprises me anymore really, but I do believe it’s lack of a better judgment. They should have known better,” says Glaser

Sports Brief: Week of 09.12.14




FIBA World Championships: USA v. Lithuania, Saturday, 3:00pm et, ESPN

They’re no Spain, which makes this a marginal watch, but US dominance is US dominance, and that’s something I’ll always tune in for.

Mayweather-Maidana, Saturday, 8:00pm et, PPV

The Moment, version 2? It could be as the rematch of one of the mostly hotly contested bouts of all-time takes center stage. Can’t believe Floyd is -800.

Lions @ Panthers, Sunday, 10:00am et, Fox

Lots of solid games, but this is the most intriguing. Is Detroit really that good? Is Derek Anderson better than Cam Newton? Watch out for that Carolina D!


3-team, 6-point teaser: Broncos (-7), Saints (-0.5), Packers (-2.5)

-2.5 is a bit of a throw away, sure, but I’m focusing on winners. Packers aren’t that bad and get the Jets @ home, KC might be that bad and Denver is @ home, and the Saints, to win, against the Browns, I mean come on.

Last week: Bears (-6.5); Result: 20-23, Loss; All-time: 15-13-1.


NJ Governor Chris Christie makes executive decision to allow sports gambling in New Jersey.

Similar to the marijuana laws, Christie’s proclamation, combined with court recent court decisions, protects sports book from state prosecution. Doesn’t stop the FBI from banging down the doors though.


Bryan Brothers

The best male doubles team in the world, perhaps of all-time, won not only their 16th Grand Slam but also their 100th career tournament. Simply wow.


On Sunday, Brian Hoyer became the 20th Cleveland starting quarterback since 1999.


It was a big week. Re Pat Haden- I love the enthusiasm, but it was too far. Does it compromise him for the Selection Committee? Absolutely not, just look at b-ball.


“I didn’t dig what Aaron Rodgers was doin…. He has a rookie center. You know, settle down, you sat out the first 3 years of your career and this guy is makin his debut under impossible condition in Seattle and you’re screaming at him on national television…. He needs a discount double reality check.”

Cousin Sal


I can’t believe it took me a couple weeks to find this:

  • Denny Gallagher His life’s a garden.  He digs it.


  • Denny for The Brief


NFL Preview: Oakland Raiders

The upgraded “Throwaways” face tough schedule, stadium concerns

 2014 will be a telling year for the Oakland Raider organization. After back-to-back 4-12 seasons, third year coach Dennis Allen and third year GM Reggie McKenzie will likely need to lead the team to the franchise’s first winning season since 2002 in order to keep their jobs…Or ever hope to have any kind of leadership positions in the NFL ever again. This is the third year of the team’s “Rebuilding Process” and owner Mark Davis is demanding success now before his haircut goes out of style.

Through both the draft and free agency, the Raiders have strengthen just about every position on the field leading coach Dennis Allen and others to be happy with the greater than normal amount of depth on the team. However, critics have pointed to the fact that the majority of the free agency pickups have been players well past their prime. This has prompted 29 year-old Maurice Jones-Drew to name the 2014 Raiders “The Throwaways”* as a group of players no one else wanted but would end up surprise people with everything they still have left in the tank.

The 2014 Raider Offense is built from the inside out with 4 out of 5 new faces on the offensive line. New additions include former Pro-bowler Donald Penn, Austin Howard, 3rd round draft pick Gabe Jackson, and 2013 2nd Round pick Menelik Watson with Stefen Wisniewski being the lone hold-over. The Raiders also added aforementioned running back Maurice Jones-Drew and former Packer James Jones, and Quarterback Matt Schaub from the Houston Texans in a trade. In this writer’s opinion, the Raiders greatest 2014 offseason move was the drafting of Fresno State Quarterback Derek Fresno State Quarterback Derek Carr in the 2nd round of the 2014 draft to be the franchise quarterback of the future. This collegiate standout led the nation in 2013 in both passing yardage and passing scores by throwing for over 5000 yards and 50 touchdown. Many people doubt Schaub’s ability after his horrendous year in 2013 but the Raiders coaching staff has voiced nothing but faith in their new starter and have stated things would have to go tremendously bad for Carr to step in and take the “wheel”. Carr has put up strong performances in his first few preseason games and has yet to be caught on camera flipping the bird.

The Raiders also upgraded their defense by focusing on the pass rush. Justin Tuck (best facemask ever?), Lamarr Woodley, and Antonio Smith were all brought in through free agency to help increase the number of quarterback pressures from the front line. The Raiders were the most blitzing defensive team in 2013 and hope to change that with those additions and their #5 overall pick,  LB Khalil Mack. The team was ecstatic to have this young talent drop to them as many considered him to be the best player in the 2014 draft. The Raiders also added former 49ers cornerbacks Terrell Brown and Carlos Rodgers and are hoping 2013 1st round pick D.J. Hayden will be able to add value this year after being injured most of last year (he is currently injured). The Raiders are also happy to bring back 17 year player Charles Woodson for at least 1 more year and look to pair him with Tyvon Branch, who missed all but 2 games last year with a broken Fibula, at the safety positions.

Special Teams for the Raiders will continue to be a strength in 2014 as Seabass and punter Marquette King have some of the strongest legs in the league. Marquette led the NFL in Average yards per punt at 48.9. The return teams look to improve on their 2013 performance and will be lead by rookie T.J. Carrie, Taiwan Jones, and Denarius Moore.

Despite all of these upgrades, 2014 has many Oakland fans apprehensive. The Raiders are ranked as having the toughest schedule in the NFL in 2014 according to their opponent’s win/loss record from 2013. The Raiders will be facing off against their division rivals twice (6), the AFC East (4), the NFC West (4), and the Texans and Jaguars who had a comparable record last year. This means they will be playing 9 of their 16 games against 2013 playoff teams including all 4 that were in the Conference championship games.

And finally, rumors continue to swirl around the organization and their location in the coming seasons with the most recent news being owner Mark Davis stating he would not renew the lease the team has with O.co coliseum in 2015. Many Bay Area fans are optimistic that both sides will come to an agreement and erect a new stadium as the deadline approaches but nationwide speculation holds that they will return to LA to the delight of many Southern California Raider Nation members. San Antonio and Portland have been two other possible landing spots mentioned, but that wouldn’t be good for anyone.


Eternal Raider Optimist Prediction: 11-5

Likely Record: 6-10 with wins against the Chiefs, Chargers, Jaguars, Texans, Browns, and the Dolphins in Foggy Londontown.


*Yes, I own a “Throwaways” T-shirt

Sports Brief: Week of 08.23.14




Little League World Series, Saturday and Sunday, ABC

US Championship, Saturday, 3:30pm e.t.; World Championship Sunday, 3:00pm et.

Vegas will face Chi-Town, after their big Thursday win, for all the US marbles.

Vikings @ Chiefs, Sunday, 8:00pm et

Week 3 of the preseason is always the best. This matchup helps us gauge the Vikings QB pecking order and the status of Jamal Charles.

Angels @ Athletics, Sunday, 8:05pm et, ESPN

The battle for the West and best record in the Bigs has become exponentially more intriguing in recent weeks due to injuries, making this the biggest series of the season.


Las Vegas to win the LLWS (-110)

This Vegas team is a beast, with an offense that hasn’t been seen in a while, they’re more rested than Chicago, and simply seem to be unstoppable (watch out for Japan).

Last week: Falcons (+3); Result: 7-32, Loss (that’s what I get); All-time: 15-10-1.


Ed O’Bannon lands first major knock down (but not knock out) against NCAA

The ruling blows the doors open for future litigation, changes the entire landscape of the NCAA, and validates more claims than can be counted. Get ready…


I know you’ve heard about it, but it still warrants a mention. The whole world has been taken by storm, and particularly the sports world, by the Ice Bucket Challenge, raising awareness and money for ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease).


Mike Fiers

When there’s smoke… The Brewers flamethrower struck out an incredible 14 batters over 6 innings one week ago, then followed that up with a 7 inning, 0.43 whip performance. He is, in fact, on fire(s).


Michael Cuddyer is just the 3rd player in Major League history to hit for the cycle in both the American and National Leagues (John Olerud and Bob Watson are the others).


I thought this was a great article regarding the recurring problems at Notre Dame due to ND’s place on the pedestal of academia. What is striking is the glaring omission of a university (not USC, but them too) that is regarded as highly as every Ivy, has zero academic issues, and wins the Director’s Cup every year- Stanford. Article defeated.


“When I hear about guys getting a free meal, or signing autographs for money, that really doesn’t bother me, other than the fact that if it’s a rule, you shouldn’t violate it. This bugs me.”

Rece Davis, regarding the rash of Notre Dame/college football academic improprieties and suspensions. Well said.















  • Denny Gallagher His life’s a garden.  He digs it.


  • Denny for The Brief


A Brief Tangent on the Future of Jon Snow

Sports Brief: Week of 07.26.14


Sports Brief Fans,

Just a heads up that there will be no Sports Brief next week as I will be taking the California Bar Exam.  Wish me luck and I’ll be back with fresh material in two weeks!



Tour de France Finish, Sunday, 9:00am et, NBCSN

Although Italian Vincenzo Nibali has an insurmountable 7+ minute lead, the final leg of Le Tour down the Chaps-Elysees is a majestic scene.

Brickyard 400, Sunday 10:00am et, ESPN

One of NASCAR’s premiere events at one of the world’s greatest raceways as the mid-way point of the season is out in the rearview mirror.

MLB Trade Deadline, Thursday 11:59pm et, MLBN

Big movement this year in mid-July, but plenty of big names still out there for teams looking to make a push or collect prospects.


Cardinals @ Cubs (+105), Saturday

You’re right, never bet the Cubs. Except here. Arieta has been a revelation and Shelby Miller is putting together one of the worst seasons in MLB history.

Last week: Blue Jays (-115) on Sunday; Result: 4-1, win; All-time: 15-7-1.


Aaron Hernandez’s motion to dismiss murder charges denied

Less than no surprise here. But, food for thought: A good motion to dismiss in a case this complicated would take, at a minimum, 50 hours finish. At Hernandez’s billable rate of, say, $800/hr, that’s a cool $40-large. For an unwinnable motion.


Each year, ESPN works with the Make-A-Wish Foundation to make dreams come true for young sports fans afflicted with devastating illnesses.

Check out this “Best Of” for this season.



Rory McIlory

Didn’t want to go with a golfer 2 weeks in a row, but Rory held the lead from his first stroke to his last.  In ugly weather.  In a Major.  Well done.


Mike Trout has 24 homeruns this year, 17 of which have been to tie or take the lead.  That’s the definition of clutch.


Apparently,beating your wife, which is illegal in every state, is less egregious in the NFL’s eyes than smoking pot, whose legality is affirmed in multiple states and growing by the day. Time to re-evaluate your moral standards.


Lots of juice this week, from Nick Saban, to Tony Dungy, but Colby Lewis takes the cake:

“I told [Rasmus] I didn’t appreciate it…. I felt like you have a situation where there is two outs, you’re up two runs, [it’s the 5th inning,]… we are playing the shift, and he laid down a bunt…. I don’t think that’s the way the game should be played.”



First, there was this:

Then, there was the winner’s response:

  • Denny Gallagher His life’s a garden.  He digs it.


  • Denny for The Brief


Do Less News: Death Trains

Christian Edwards


I replaced all uses of what the author of this well written article called something (“death train”) with what a five year old would call it (“train to America”) .



The Obama administration praised a recent agreement between Mexico and Guatemala that could allow even more migrants to hop on so-called death trains”  “trains to America” to try to unlawfully enter the United States. In fact, the administration may even send Mexico foreign aid to help the country implement its “southern border initiative” with Guatemala.

At a Thursday Senate hearing on the unaccompanied children who are flooding across the border, Ambassador Thomas A. Shannon, the Counselor of the Department of State, told senators that Mexico’s “Southern border strategy” with Guatemala “was a welcome step towards improving Mexico’s ability to exercise greater control along its border with Guatemala and Belize.”

As part of that plan, Mexico will issue Regional Visitor permits and will reportedly “allow Guatemalans to enter the country without a passport and stay for up to three days in any of the 81 bordering municipalities located throughout the states of Chiapas, Tabasco and Quintana Roo.” Those permits can essentially be tickets to ride the death train train to America, because 72 hours is plenty of time to ride the 1,000 miles to the U.S.-Mexico border.

Nearly 75% of all illegal immigrant children who have been entering the country have come from Central America. Most go through Guatemala to get to Mexico, where they get on board the so-called death trains trains to America. Some find their way to Mexico through Belize.

Migrants often hop on the death trains trains to America in Chiapas, which is where the announcement of the “southern border strategy” was actually made July 7. Speaking with Guatemalan President Otto Perez Molina, Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto “said he will also be implementing the Border Worker Card program, with which Guatemalan citizens may obtain employment in Mexico” and announced “that similar agreements have been made with the governments of El Salvador and Honduras.”

“The campaign has the dual purpose of protecting and safeguarding the human rights of migrants entering and transiting through Mexico and increasing security of the region,” Peña Nieto said, according to a translation.

As part of the plan, “five border traffic control centers will be opened in order to efficiently monitor activity at the 12 existing border crossing points, 10 of which are located in Guatemala and two of which are in Belize,” and they will “provide adequate space for the care of unaccompanied migrant minors until they are able to be reunited with their families.”

The United States Embassy immediately applauded the agreement, and the Obama administration indicated it may send send Mexico more foreign aid.

Shannon, the Counselor of the Department of State, said Thursday that the “initiative is a manifestation of a new willingness to work together along [these states’] common border” and America is “working to provide support to Mexico’s southern border initiative,” potentially to the tune of $86 million in current funds to the program.

There have been at least 57,000 illegal immigrant children who have unlawfully entered the country since October of last year, and the federal government estimates at least 150,000 more will try next year. Critics of Obama’s immigration policy have accused Mexico of being complicit in the border crisis and insisted that the Mexican government must do more to prevent migrants from traveling thousands of miles across Mexico on obvious journeys to America.

07.03.14 Morning Brief



-New Ukrainian Defense Minister Vows to Hold “Victory Parade” in Crimea
-Man Bends Car Door of Burning Vehicle to Save Driver
-Germany Approves First Ever National Minimum Wage 


-Maryland woman gets a bag of weed with her Sonic order.


-Forty four stories about forty four presidents.


-Cajun deviled egg shrimp cocktails and avacado-feta salsa.


-You mess with the hedgehog you get the…


Love and trust, in the space between what’s said and what’s heard in our life, can make all the difference in the world. ”
-Mr. Rogers


“Remember those days? Had you smellin my boxers.
-Ghostface Killah




A squirrel.


Email Chain that (Probably) Didn’t Happen at Work: Such NBA

The below gif started made the internet/email rounds yesterday. Messages were sent, thoughts were shared.

Christian Edwards

Well this is one of the better things I’ve seen in some time #thankyoubasedgod.

Kevin Osman

I have to say I don’t think Popovich has earned the full length of that gif quite yet.  As shown two years ago, this thing is not over.

Having said that, if I were a betting man I would predict this series goes 5 games.  I think OKC will come out swinging and take game 3, but the Spurs defense has been crazy-good at limiting the OKC offense to difficult shots.

Conversely, OKC has no ability to guard the Spurs’ offense, specifically the Tony Parker pick and roll.  Once Parker splits or passes out of the double-team, there’s been no recovering on defense.

The passing/poise/shooting of the Spurs’ offense is amazing to watch once they have the defense scrambling.  Everyone is a great shooter for their position and you never find someone out of place.

Shoot the open shot, or pass the ball to Parker, Duncan or Ginobili and get back to your shooting spot.

Simple stuff but damn it works when performed accurately and with precision.

David Magruder

I’m just very happy people have time in their lives to make things like this.   Big Davey knows poetry, and this here is poetry.

Stephen Clifford

To that gif I say: Yes.

Kevin’s right in that I felt almost this exact level of confidence in San Antonio two years ago before they made me look stupid by getting lit up. Those were the days of OKC over-achieving though, back when we weren’t really sure what the upsides to KD, Russ and Harden were.

Turns out one’s an MVP but not the best player in the league, one’s an unforgivable shmuck on D, and one’s whatever Russ is .

OKC just doesn’t have the horses to stop the Spurs Machine this time around. San Antonio is as close to perfect (Spurfect?) at basketball as anything we’ve since since the Dream Team was donkey punching Lithuania.


A few key differences from Thunder – Spurs two years ago.

  1. The Spurs won those first two games by single digits, not 17 and 30 fucking 5.
  2. Kawhi Leonard went from regular Kawhi Leonard to Ka-why Lennnn-ard FOOOOOOOOOL.
  3. That Thunder team had James Harden, and much more importantly Serge Ibaka.

That last one is huge, as the Thunder’s whole offensive “system” is predicated off getting a stop, pushing the ball upcourt and then exploiting mismatches for their two best dudes in that semi-transition flow space.

Without Ibaka, they cannot stop San Antonio in the paint.  At all.  It’s like the day after Thanksgiving at the Manteca Walmart in that piece.


That’s the biggest issue: Reggie Jackson/Steven Adams aren’t exactly the kind of replacements that strike fear into the heart of an opponent as efficient as the Spurs.


The most important match in the West is (was?) Pop v. Brooks.

Replace that gif with Scott’s face getting bashed in because I’ve never seen him more perplexed on the sidelines than this series.  I was expecting (going out on a limb) Brooks to make some game 2 adjustments and, yanno, maybe run an offensive set or two and hopefully make it a close game.

Instead, Pop was the one who made adjustments despite having locked up game 1 by the THIRD FREAKING QUARTER and absolutely punk’d the Thunder again.  Brooks and his squad have no answer despite have better talent.

It almost feels like even if(when?) KD and Westbrook have one of those other-worldly games where they combine for 75 ponits, they still might not squeak by.

Seriously, do you foresee the Thunder winning any of these games by 7 points or more (assuming Pop doesn’t pull a Total Pop Move and bench his starters for the entire 2nd half because why the hell not?)?

You can have the most talented team in the world, but if the man on the bench wearing a tie (or not wearing a tie, in Pop’s case) can’t harness and coach that talent, that team will have a tough time sticking around until June.


To me, the big remaining questions are:

A) Can the Heat get past the Pacers?
B) If so, can the Spurs limit Lebron’s effectiveness with a Kawhi Leonard and Danny Green combo?

I think the Spurs have shown that they can do well to slow down a 2-pony show, but with LeBron, Wade and Bosh (plus the perimeter players that will hopefully hit threes) playing well, I wouldn’t necessarily list the Spurs as favorites.


I have to believe the Heat get by.

Yes, West and Hibbert treat Bosh like their little brother who they just kick the shit out of when he annoys them, but against San Antonio he can play more of his stupid European style and he can do work on the not actually European but Brazilian so that’s basically the same thing Splitter.

Wade is showing Flashes (see what I did there) of old Wade (not Old Wade) and the Spurs will going to have nightmares whenever they see Jesus Shuttlesworth shooting 3’s.

But there’s really only one way to beat the Spurs… and it’s called having the Terminator on your team.


This sounds crazy considering the Spurs have three dudes that just set the record for most playoff wins together, but the Heat are definitely the team that got older and slower since last year.

Splitter is not going to disappear in the same way, Kawhi is a year older and wiser, and Patty Mills is a legit piece now.

Plus this swell fact one David Magruder dropped in our playoff preview:
The Spurs’ starting 5 have clocked a combined total minutes played of exactly 9,000.  To put this in perspective, the Heat’s have clocked 10,854.


If we get a Spurs-Heat Finals, I want to see who guards Parker.

We’ve seen LeBron contain amazing perimeter players in the past. D-Rose’s downfall began with that MIA-CHI playoff series when LeBron was all “Enjoy your MVP, Imma be over here kicking your ass and playing in the Finals.”

Does LeBron have the energy/ability to keep up with Parker? Or is Tony Parker on that Steve Nash-ian level of getting to dribble wherever he wants, wasting LeBron’s energy to where sticking with 2-3 pick and rolls per possession is just not worth it in the end?


Refresher: The Heat were the most clutch shot in NBA history and/or the greatest power forward ever not missing a bunny and/or  two missed free throws from 80%+ FT shooters away from losing that series.


Am I the only one with deja vu in this convo?

I know we talked about breaks of the game before, and I think we only have to look at the Spurs getting out of the first round this year. Teams catch breaks the whole way through, and the Spurs’ first three wins over Dallas came by 5, 4, and 6 points respectively.

In any of those games, it’s a bounce here or a foul there that keeps them going but by the time the finals roll around we’ve forgotten all about it. We can’t ignore those outcomes because the games aren’t seen as being “as important”!


Lucky breaks are really the true determinant of championship winners. Vlade to Horry, anyone?

I am also of the belief that teams put themselves in position to receive such lucky charms.

The Spurs won those three games by 4, 5, 6 but lost one game purely because of a shot Vince Carter makes (maybe) 2 out of 10 times. So, I guess while luck happens, good teams at least have some ability to earn those “lucky” breaks.


Maybe. Also hadn’t really come to terms with the fact that the Heat are truly the older team at this point… and they’re relying on the Bird Man who I’m pretty sure came into the league when I was in 6th grade.


Fun fact: Birdman was the first D-Leaguer to get called up by an NBA team in 2001.  He looked like this

General Observation: Birdman is 35 (in real years) and ironically his drug use might have saved this part of his career.

Stick with me.

Being such a high-energy player, a two-year break on his legs could theoretically make a significant difference .  Imagine if KG had just sat out his last two years in Minny before moving to Boston.

I proffer that he’d still be a top-end PF instead of the below-average, 20-min-a-night guy he is now.  Duncan is like a bizarro, “had Pop as a coach instead of a drug habit” Birdman in this example of the value of minute-management.

He and Garnett are both two years older than Birdman, but Duncan has been saved by Pop, and when the time come he can still bust out 35 high-level minutes.


There’s a 100% chance Birdman (and/or Udonis Haslem) grabs PG13 by the throat and chokeslams him if he tries to go to the rack Saturday.


I don’t know if I actually feel this way, but is there a chance we aren’t giving the Pacers enough credit?  They look kind of like the same team that took the Heat to seven last year.

And isn’t this Paul George concussion thing one of the more fascinating subplots of this whole thing? I have many questions.

Does basketball have the same protocol as football?
Has a player ever missed a basketball game due to being concussed?
If Dwayne Wade and CP3 got in a fight would it just be a nutshot – suckerpunch- eye gouge battle?


The concussion protocol point is interesting but I can’t imagine there’s any way in the world PG13 misses game 3.

It’s just not the same level of concern as in football but I can’t wait for the announcers to act like Miami is trying to take him out the first time they foul PG13 HARD at the basket.

Real question, if that’s George Hill kneeing Lebron in the back of the head, is George Hill’s knee sprained? Bone bruise? Shattered?


This is a metaphor for Paul George trying to get at LeBron.

05.20.14 Morning Brief



-Thailand Army Declares Martial Law
-Heavy Casualties Feared After Dual Explosions in Nigerian Market 

-CIA to End Use of Vaccine Campaigns in Spying Operations


-Peyton Manning arrested in Nashville.


-Background music for your hobbies.


-Thoughts on the best show on not T.V., featuring the good homie Joe Smith (actual name),


-“Arawak men and women, naked, tawny and full of wonder, emerged from their villages onto the island’s beaches and swam out to get a closer look at the strange big boat.”


-P.S. It’s almost June.


“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.”
-Marianne Williamson


“Rule nombre uno.”




An elk.



05.15.14 Morning Brief




-Aaron Hernandez Indicted in 2012 Double Murder
-Sudanese Woman Sentenced to Hanging for Refusal to Return to Islam
-Turkish Unions Strike in Response to Mine Disaster


-Oculus Rift for chickens will allow them to be virtually free range without being actually free range.


-The NCAA granted a waiver allowing Boise State to financially assist a football recruit that is homeless. The fact that a waiver is required for that is a convo for a different time, but damn if this man’s story isn’t rough.


-Smoky maple-mustard salmon


-But if it is that would be too sweet.


“Discovering the truth about ourselves is a lifetime’s work, but it’s worth the effort.”
-Mr. Rogers


“Fly, go hard, like geese erection.”


Straight outta Compton



A wild Sula appeared!



04.25.14 Morning Brief





-100% of California Now in Drought Conditions
-SARS-Related Disease Reported in Saudi Arabia
-Massive Iceberg Breaks Off Antarctica


-Accused killer fears giant “Murder” tattoo may prejudice jury.


-An interview with Joseph Stalin.


-The Sports Brief: Week of 04.26.14


Typhoon-Starting Over


-Best 3 point shooter in the game doesn’t just airball that shot. 


“I listened, but I had a small piece of fluff in my ear.”


“My wrist deserve a shout-out, I’m like, what up wrist?”
-2 Chainz


-Just some kids from Liverpool




A grizzly bear.



Boo You Gmail.

So Gmail has recently started considering The Morning Brief spam.

(If you feel the same way, please feel free to unsubscribe. No hard feelings.)

In order to avoid it ending up in spam moving forward, follow these easy steps:

-Open your spam folder. You’ll probably have to click the “more” option.


-Open the email w/subject “xx.xx.xx Morning Brief”

-Click the drop down arrow in the top right corner and choose “Filter messages like this”


-In the filter screen, enter “Morning Brief” into the Subject line. It’ll auto-populate w/ “From” as “christian@keepingitbrief.org,” and to be safe you’ll want to get rid of that.

(That’d probably work, but the subject one should definitely work.)


-Click “Create Filter w/This Search”

-Choose where you want the email to land. At the very least, “Never send to spam” is probably a good call.

Voila. You get The Brief in your inbox tomorrow like nothin happened.

Hope all is well.


That’s Not Ready Quite Yet


That isn’t quite ready yet.

But will be soon (or so they tell us).

There’ll be one more line, I’d bet.

Now that’s a quatrain homie. Be jealous.